Everyone has a type. Mine? Generally, the tattooed, gorgeous brooding musician, or some variation on that. Pretty much everything your parents hope you never bring home. See, I love a bad boy. Maybe it's the rebel hidden somewhere in me (I've always been a goody two-shoes), or perhaps I'm just genetically hard-wired to go for the mysterious type.
Either way, I've never had very much luck chasing this type of guy. While not all tattooed guitar players fit into the bad boy stereotype (I actually know a few who are sweet, if a little misguided), I haven't come across one who has stuck around, whether it was my choice or his. This got me thinking, am I just making things harder for myself by only pursuing a certain type of guy with very specific attributes? And am I the only one who does this? Or do we all have a checklist somewhere in the back of our minds, and when someone doesn't fit the bill, we cut them loose without taking a second look?
For me, I think part of my problem is that I love a challenge. I don't want to be pursued, I want to pursue. And the less interest a guy shows in me, the more I want to make him come around. This, in and of itself, is going to get me nowhere, because if I'm constantly chasing, I'm never going to have the chance to settle down with anyone. You can't help to whom you are attracted--if you could, relationships wouldn't be so difficult. But you can stop pigeon-holing yourself. I guess my point here is that it might not be a bad idea to expand my dating horizons and meet people I wouldn't typically date. And maybe anyone who feels the same should also try looking outside the box.
I'm not saying that we should all just haphazardly start accepting every offer we get. If someone gives you a bad vibe or just doesn't seem right, trust your gut. We shouldn't live dangerously, just a little more openly. I also don't think you should try to force yourself to like someone just because they might be good for you. Trust me on this one, if you aren't attracted to someone, or if you don't get along well with them, trying to make yourself settle isn't going to work out. I have been there and done that and it is definitely not the answer.
I'm thinking more along the lines of just putting myself out there. Maybe, instead of constantly going to see bands, I should try hanging out at different places, with different groups of people. It might not hurt to just see what else is around, as far as personality types go. Judging a book by its cover is my other problem, because if I meet a guy who doesn't fit the ideal of what I think I want, I run in the other direction. Perhaps I should give it a little more time, take things slow, and get to know some new people. At the very least, I might end up with a few more friends. As far as my love of a challenge goes, I think I may just have to hope I grow out of that. In the meantime, maybe I can view this new outlook on dating as a brand-new kind of challenge.I'm not saying that we should all just haphazardly start accepting every offer we get. If someone gives you a bad vibe or just doesn't seem right, trust your gut. We shouldn't live dangerously, just a little more openly. I also don't think you should try to force yourself to like someone just because they might be good for you. Trust me on this one, if you aren't attracted to someone, or if you don't get along well with them, trying to make yourself settle isn't going to work out. I have been there and done that and it is definitely not the answer.
Ultimately, do you think it is as easy as deciding to be more open-minded, or is there a better way to escape the dreaded dating rut?
